Title: A Question Of Success Type: Humorous - Family Date Published: 2006-09-07 Can be purchased in Volume 1

     The fact that I have not necessarily been successful in everything I have done in my life was brought forcefully to my attention at the Junior Miss pageant, in which my daughter was a contestant. For those unfamiliar with Junior Miss, it is a school-sponsored competition, throughout which every father feels his daughter is the obvious winner, while secretly hoping she won't win, thus sparing him the "opportunity" of hauling her all over the country to multiple events.
     I have attended Junior Miss pageants many times and have heard the whispered suggestions that the judges must have been bribed. I've laughed at the suggestion, not truly believing that anyone would bribe a judge to make sure his daughter would lose, but I suppose it could happen. I can remember the desperation mounting in my heart during intermission, as well-meaning people assured me that my daughter was surely going to win. I became increasingly sure that most of them disliked me or they wouldn't have harassed me this way.
     To satisfy the talent portion, my daughter played the harp, performing a beautiful, 87.5 second rendition of Pachebel Canon in D, leaving a whole 2.5 seconds to spare. She finished with a flamboyant pop-song surprise ending, then, instead of gliding off the stage in her flowing evening gown, the one that cost her mother two weeks of sleepless nights, she hiked it up to just below her knees and skipped unconventionally off stage.
     I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking she had lost for sure. To my amazement, the audience cheered and cheered; they loved her all the more. I knew she didn't plan to win. She had said she just wanted to have fun and hopefully win some scholarship money. She didn't have time for any of the other stuff. However, the more she did out of the norm, the more the audience adored her.
     Finally, it came time for the big moment when she went to the microphone to speak her great words of wisdom. The announcer took the question she had drawn and turned to her. "How would you define success?"
     She smiled at him and told how her Sweet Adeline singing group had wanted to attend a competition but had decided not to. I remembered it well. She had talked to me and told me she was afraid they would take last place. I had told her she could do worse than last. She had looked at me in surprise. "How can anyone do worse than last?"
     "They could not even compete," I had answered.
     In the end, they went, they competed, and they ended up near the top. As she finished the story, reciting my words with emphasis, I felt quite proud of myself for my great wisdom and my ability to influence my daughter. She finished with, "... and my Dad should know because he has attempted more things than anybody I know."
     My high school friend, who was seated nearby, slapped me on the back and said, "And he has failed at all of them!" He then roared with laughter. He's that friend in high school that would always say things like he knew how I could lose 20 ugly pounds. When I would ask him how, he would say, "Cut your head off." I think he has considered it his job in life to keep me humble. However, I couldn't help but think that he might be right. My filing cabinet has a drawer full of nothing but rejection letters from publishers and agents; my computer is littered with software I have developed and could not sell, books and stories I have written that I have not been able to get published, and plays that I have written that have not been produced.
     Well, my daughter didn't win anything but a scholarship and the admiration of the audience.
     I took her to her first summer job the other day. It was hard to see her leave home. She has been a lot of fun as a daughter, though we have had our challenges, as in any parent-child relationship. She is employed on a ranch in Jackson, driving a horse team for paying guests. My heart choked in my throat as I drove away, leaving her waving in the doorway. She now writes about the challenges she continues to face, but I'm proud to read that she still holds true to the family values we have taught her. She is growing strong in character and inner strength, just as she has grown in beauty.
     I may have a drawer full of rejections, but each time I read one of her letters I realize that maybe this old dad wasn't such a failure - after all.